


Cartman Finds Love 2: Electric Boogaloo

by shortstackedcheesecake96



Category: South Park
Genre: High School, Kyman Week 2020, Locked In, Locker Room, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:55:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25058059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shortstackedcheesecake96/pseuds/shortstackedcheesecake96
Summary: Bebe forms an unexpected friendship with Eric Cartman, and discovers there's a whole lot he's repressing. Namely, his feelings for Kyle. She makes it her mission to get them together, and to make it happen, she has to use a trick right out of the Eric Cartman playbook. For Day 3 of Kyman Week 2020: Locked in A Closet.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman
Comments: 14
Kudos: 213





	Cartman Finds Love 2: Electric Boogaloo

**Author's Note:**

> Is this the dumbest title I've ever come up with? Yes. Do I regret it? No. Anyway, this is my submission for Kyman Week 2020! Day 3: Locked in the closet. I've kind of gone off piste a little, but meh, technicalities. This was just so much fun. I hope you enjoy, and I'd love to know your thoughts! Thank you for reading!

Bebe wishes she could tell you, or herself, or anyone how she ended up befriending Eric Cartman. It started with bad timing, the both of them awkwardly smoking under the bleachers together at the exact same time. For a while they just happened to be running into each other, acknowledging each other with a nod and smoking in silence, eyes glued to their phones. Then Eric asked for a light one day. Then the next day Bebe struck up a conversation because she was a polite person. Just like any other friendship, small talk made way for something more substantial. Something funnier, more open, more interesting, and Bebe looked forward to smoking with Eric every day - she even started calling him Eric instead of Cartman. One day, they stumbled upon a topic of conversation that solidified their bond and provided hours of discussion. Kyle Broflovski.

Bebe had had a crush on him for years. Casually admitting this to Eric filled the air with tension for a few seconds. She had never seen him look so uncomfortable, but instead of making fun of her, he tentatively asked her what her favourite things about Kyle were, and as she listed them he began to smile and make comments that Bebe thought didn't really align with the narrative that Eric and Kyle had perpetuated for years. They hated each other, right? Eric didn't even have to say it, it was obvious he had a crush on Kyle, and it soon became apparent that he was, in fact, in love with him. Paradoxically, hearing Eric gush about how much he loved him made Bebe like Kyle less and less. Eric's feelings were so magnified that hers shrank and then eventually disappeared into the background. She's contemplated asking Kyle out for years, but has refrained because while he seemed nice and smart, it also seemed like he knew it and that made him a bit unapproachable. Bebe knew so much more was at play for Eric not to confess his feelings for Kyle, or ask him out. He had so much to lose, but was he really gaining anything by letting his feelings fester? Bebe could tell he was unhappy, dissatisfied, and she could tell that was probably why they hadn't been spending so much time together. From the outside, it just seemed like childhood friends growing apart, on the inside it was far more tragic.

But she's at a loss as to what she should do. Should she intervene at all? Life is complicated enough without getting tangled up in the co-dependent web that is Eric Cartman and Kyle Broflovski's friendship. All she can really do is be there for Eric, and vow to herself that if Kyle actually does ask her out one day, then she'll reject him because it would be too cruel to accept.

Bebe is sleeping one Sunday night when she hears a voice speaking softly in her ear.

"Bebe!" It kind of sounds like a higher, sweeter version of her own. "Bebe, wake up!"

"Huh... " Bebe grumbles into her pillow. She rolls onto her back and rubs her heavy eyes. "What..."

She wakes up fully when she sees a small, cherubic version of herself hovering above her. They're identical except her hair is long and wavy, her cheeks are full and rosy, and she has a rounder belly. She's also completely naked, save for the quiver of arrows draped across her shoulder.

"Tee-hee!"

Bebe clamps a hand over her mouth to smother a yelp.

"What the fuck..." she whispers. "Who are you?"

Cupid Bebe giggles, and rolls her eyes.

"I'm you, silly! And I need to talk to you about something very important!"

Bebe just stares, dumbfounded. She shakes her head.

"No... no, this isn't... am I dreaming?"

Cupid Bebe gives her a brisk shake of her head.

"Nope..."

"Prove it!"

Cupid Bebe reaches for one of her arrows, placing it in the bow and shooting Bebe in the arm. It pierces the crook of her elbow, surprisingly sharp.

"Ow!"

"Did that feel real?"

Bebe nods, grimacing as she plucks the tiny arrow out. She supposes that if she can be woken up by her burgeoning breasts conspiring to kill the town, then she can be woken up by her cherubic alter ego. Nothing is impossible in South Park.

"Very real... "

She feels a little hazy and light-headed. She wonders if those arrows are actually tranquilisers, but when she looks at Cupid Bebe, she seems too sweet, and pretty to even hurt a fly.

_God, she's so pretty._

A coy smile spreads across her face.

"You're kinda cute."

Cupid Bebe flushes and giggles.

"Tee-hee! So are you, gorgeous! But I didn't come to talk about you."

"Oh..." Bebe says, sitting up. "Then why did you come here?"

Cupid Bebe places a hand on her pudgy hip.

"Honey, we need to talk about Eric."

Bebe nods.

"I agree, where shall we start?"

Cupid Bebe taps her chin.

"Hmm, let's start with Kyle."

"I talk about Kyle for what feels like every second of my life."

"Kind of a risk you have to take when Eric Cartman chooses you to be his confidante."

Bebe sighs in agreement, shaking her head.

"He's caught feelings real bad. I've never seen a case like it."

"And if something doesn't happen between him and Kyle soon then it's gonna kill him, and god knows they're both too repressed to have an honest conversation of their own accord."

"But what can I do? Eric would kill me if I talked to Kyle for him, and Kyle wouldn't agree to go on a date with him."

"So bring the date to them! What does Jimmy always say is the guaranteed way to call a truce?"

Bebe sighs, before they say in unison: "'A lock-in at the rec centre always works.'"

"Yes!" Cupid Bebe squeals.

Bebe arches an eyebrow, in disbelief that this is the conversation she's having right now.

"You want me to lock Eric and Kyle in a rec centre?"

"A rec centre, a locker room, a closet, wherever! Just a confined space that they can't get out of so they have no choice but to talk about their feelings!"

"That's messed up."

Cupid Bebe huffs.

"No, it's the push they need!"

"It's _Saw!"_

"Leave the bondage up to those two, okay? This is just about them expressing their feelings, and getting a chance to have some alone time together." Cupid Bebe frowns. "You know they haven't been hanging out lately. You know how much it hurts Eric. Don't you want him to be happy?"

Bebe looks at her lap, tucks some hair behind her ear. It's a startling feeling, realising she does actually want Eric to be happy, because she fears what he would do if he continues to be miserable. He's too stubborn to act himself, he needs someone to take the reins on this. Could she live with herself if she knew there was a way to help Eric but she did nothing? She looks up at Cupid Bebe and scowls.

"You're one manipulative bitch, Cupid Bebe..."

Cupid Bebe just smirks, like she's well aware of that fact.

"And I know you'll do anything for your friends, regular Bebe. Unfortunately, Eric Cartman is now your friend. Unfortunately, he's hopelessly in love with Kyle Broflovski. Again, you signed up for this."

Bebe rolls her eyes, and throws her hands up in defeat.

"Fine... I have no idea how the fuck I'm gonna pull it off, but fine. Any suggestions where I should start?"

Cupid Bebe grins, delighted.

"You're not the only one who wants Eric and Kyle to get together! Seek out Kenny McCormick and I'm sure he'll help you."

Bebe's body slumps. She really didn't want to involve anyone else in this.

"Seriously?"

Cupid Bebe nods.

"For Eric..." she says, sounding as solemn as she can possibly be.

Bebe nods slowly in agreement.

"For Eric..." she rubs her face, runs a hand through her hair. "God, this better work."

"Tee-hee!" Cupid Bebe squeals, and she does a little loop-de-loop in the air. Her wings are practically quivering. "Ooh, love is in the air!"

Bebe chuckles too, wondering if she should expect more insane shit like this to happen now she's friends with Eric. She may as well roll with it, especially when Cupid Bebe's dazzling smile and ass that won't quit has been turning her on since she shot her with her arrow.

She leans on her elbows, and smiles.

"Hey, before you go would you mind... um..." she purses her lips, glancing at her lower body before her eyes return to Cupid Bebe again.

"Oh..." Cupid Bebe blinks. A mischievous smile spreads across her face. "Oh, of course not..."

She slips under the covers, and Bebe is mesmerised by the pink, glowing shadow that travels up the sheets. Her wings graze her bare legs, and she parts them instinctively. She hears Cupid Bebe's muffled giggle.

"Tee-hee!"

Bebe gasps when Cupid Bebe slips into her shorts, falling back onto her pillow with her eyes squeezed shut. She has definitely been hanging out with Eric Cartman way too much.

* * *

It's times like these, when she's crouched behind a row of lockers, wringing a heavy, silver chain in her hands, that Bebe realises what a truly strange life she leads. She's waiting for Kenny to complete his part of the mission that was, truthfully, the hardest part. Although Bebe would never say it out loud. It required stealth and an ability to bullshit, and while she didn't doubt that Kenny possessed the former, the latter remained to be seen. She jumps when she hears the sound of footsteps in the empty hallway, but the basketball team soon pass her, murmuring with excitement and confusion. Kenny is trailing behind them, and like a character in a spy movie, he presses his back to the locker and rounds the corner to plop down beside her. Bebe thinks it's unnecessary, but she laughs nonetheless.

"Got it?"

"Got it." Kenny grins, handing her Kyle's phone and charger.

"You're amazing!" Bebe squeals. "What did you say to get them to leave?"

"I told them that The Rock was outside."

Bebe arched a sceptical eyebrow.

"They really believed that?"

"Wouldn't you be just a little bit curious if I told you Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson was wandering around campus?"

Bebe shrugged.

"Hmm, I suppose. And Kyle's still in the shower?"

"Yep."

Bebe gasps, shaking her head. She imagines Kyle looking like a raisin when he finally steps out of the shower, deep pink and wrinkled, and she wonders if Eric would find it off-putting. But Eric would probably still wanna fuck him even if he looked like a literal hunk of shit. This prompts an image of Eric and Mr Hankey that Bebe ejects from her brain immediately.

"God, how long has it been? Nearly half an hour? I mean, do what you want in your own home but at school-"

"I don't think Kyle's neuroses take into account the school's water bills."

"Whatever, gives me time to text Eric, anyway." Bebe stares at Kyle's phone. "Do you know his passcode?"

Kenny nods, tapping it in for Bebe before handing it back to her. He leans in to watch her type.

"What are you gonna tell him?"

"Just that Kyle wants to meet up with him. He'll be sure to come running." She looks at Kenny. "Ooh, that reminds me, did you plant the hamper?"

"Yep," Kenny replies, before crossing his arms. "You know, when you recruited me I didn't think it would be this much work."

Bebe flushes at Kenny's realisation that he's done all the hard work. But she did stuff too!

"Who was up all night preparing a kosher-friendly romantic picnic and rummaging through their attic for board games? I don't think it was you."

Kenny doesn't say anything, and Bebe returns to the task at hand. She sends this message to Eric: " _Hey, I need to talk to you. Meet me in the locker room. It's an emergency."_

"Subtle."

Bebe frowns.

"Time is of the essence!"

" _the fuck?"_ Eric replies. " _what kind of emergency."_

Bebe growls under her breath, throwing her head back and trying to not let on how much it hurt. She thinks the reverberating clang of the locker may have spoken for her though.

"God fucking damn it, Eric!" She honestly thought he wouldn't ask questions of any invitation Kyle offered him. "Shit, what kind of emergency should I say..."

Kenny tilts his head as he thinks.

"Boner emergency. Need a hand."

Bebe huffs.

"I'm serious, Kenny!"

"Come on, you can do it!" Kenny says, twisting his body around so he's facing her directly. He places his fingers to his temples. "Channel your inner Kyle."

"Okay..." Bebe sighs. She closes her eyes and thinks before it comes to her.

Her eyes fly open, and she clenches her whole body to get in uptight, furious Kyle mode. She grits her teeth as she replies to Eric's message, typing as quickly as she imagines Kyle would.

" _gdi Cartman it doesn't matter! Just get here now! I need you."_

She's breathless when she hits send, her chest heaving as if Kyle's spirit had possessed her and is now leaving her body.

"Nice..." Kenny nods.

Bebe's nose wrinkles, flattered but still self-conscious.

"You really think it will work? I'm regretting the 'gdi.' I think Kyle would've just spelt it out in full. And is the 'I need you' too sexually charged?"

"It's my favourite part. Besides, every conversation they have is sexually charged."

Bebe shrugs, figuring there's nothing she can do about it now.

"Meh, I panicked. We just have to wait and see if it- oh..."

She's interrupted by Eric's reply.

" _fine keep your panties on i'm on my way"_

Bebe and Kenny share a grin and a high five. They stay huddled together as they wait for Eric.

"There he is!" Kenny whispers.

It takes all of ten minutes for him to arrive, marching down the hallway with an uncomfortable look of concern across his face. Bebe imagines he's not used to feeling such an emotion. He throws open the locker room door, and Bebe scurries after him once the door slams. Her tongue is poking out in concentration as she wraps the chain around the horizontal handle. Once she's done, she beams at her work and dusts her hands off. She can hear Kenny approaching her, and she spins around to share high-tens with him.

* * *

Eric's heart is racing with concern, and intrigue, and nerves as he charges into the locker room. It feels like he hasn't had a real conversation with Kyle in so long, but his overwhelming feelings have continued to grow regardless, so he really has no idea how he will react upon talking to Kyle again, especially Kyle in distress.

"Okay, Kyle, what the hell is - woah!"

Eric's face burns immediately at walking in on Kyle half-dressed. His heart isn't going to be slowing down anytime soon. Still, when Kyle yelps and holds his t-shirt to his bare chest he can't help but smirk beneath the hand shielding his face.

"Cartman! What the fuck are you doing here?"

Eric blinks, brow furrowed. He drops his hand from his face.

"I don't know! You told me to come here! You said there was an emergency!"

Kyle stares at him, eyes alight with confusion. His brow is creased and he cranes his neck to stare at Eric like he's stupid, or insane, and Eric doesn't appreciate the implication that he's either.

"What? Are you crazy? No, I didn't, I can't even find my fucking phone!"

Eric prickles all over. This is getting too weird, too eerily familiar.

"Huh?"

Kyle sighs and gestures haplessly to his open locker.

"My phone! I can't find it anywhere, and I don't know where the hell everyone is!"

"Well, if you didn't text me who did?"

Kyle, again, looks at him like he's either stupid or insane for even asking that question.

"Cartman, read my lips. I. Have. No. Clue. What. Is. Going. On! But I would really appreciate it if you could let me get changed in peace!"

Eric huffs, throws his arms up in the air.

"Gladly!"

He turns to storm out of the room, disappointed admittedly that their encounter was short and infuriating but, really, what did he expect? He tries to open the door, but it won't budge. That prickly feeling returns, and that uncanny sense of deja vu echoes from his brain into his gut, heavy and nauseating.

"What the..." he mutters, giving the door another tug, another shake. "It's locked."

Kyle sighs, completely exasperated.

"What, now?"

"It's locked!" Eric exclaims, looking over his shoulder. "The fucking door is locked!"

Kyle's face is paralysed with dread, before he shakes his head and storms over to the door.

"It can't be!"

"Well, would I still be standing here yelling at you if it wasn't?"

"God, just move!" Kyle snaps, shoving Eric out of the way and trying the door. He pulls a lot harder than Eric does, puts more effort in and it's shows on his creased face, in his small whines of effort that slip through gritted teeth.

"Oh..." Kyle pants when he realises it's useless. "Oh, shit..."

"Told you!"

Kyle cries, kicks the door so hard it shudders.

"What the hell is going on, Cartman?" he yells, voice cracking.

"Beats me!" Eric replies, crossing his arms.

Then his phone buzzes in his pocket. He reaches for it, and he has a text from Bebe that sends a shiver down his spine.

" _having trouble getting out?"_

Eric blinks, lips parting as he reads the message. He looks over his shoulders at a pacing Kyle who's gone into hair-gripping, shoulders-hunching meltdown. Eric lifts his own shoulders and presses his phone close to him when he replies.

" _wtf have you done?"_

_"i've done you a favour. you and kyle needed to talk."_

Eric's heart is pounding so hard now he worries that it's going to take off, breaking away from the veins and arteries that bind it to his chest, and leap out of his throat. Of course he's imagined being alone with Kyle numerous times, but never like this. In his head, it's never so tense, and nerve-wracking, and just plain awful. Eric doesn't know if he can handle it. He grits his teeth, and an angry breath escapes through his nose.

_"this isn't funny you fucking psycho let us out!"_

_"god dude are you so dumb that you can't see the amazing opportunity i've given you? you have one night alone with kyle. you can't tell me your not a little excited."_

In truth, Eric is a little excited. This is like a thousand dreams coming true except they've morphed and mutated into a giant, horrific nightmare. If he's even more honest, a little part of him is pretty impressed with Bebe. He can't even be mad about the fact she lied to him about leaving her phone at home. She's drained his battery with the pretend texts to her mom, her insistence on checking Instagram, and insisting he watch Tiktoks with her when he was trying to smoke. It was meticulous, and cunning, but also pretty disturbing. He never thought he'd be at the opposite ends of one of his schemes, he always assumed he was the only capable of pulling them off.

_"i can't believe your pulling a me rn,"_ he replies.

_"i sure am bitch and you know how effective this little plan is. don't waste this opportunity!"_

Before Eric can reply his phone dies. He shakes with rage, but resists the urge to throw his phone on the floor.

"Shit!"

"What?" Kyle asks, stepping closer. His chest is still heaving, and he's still flushed a soft pink that doesn't compliment his hair at all.

"My phone just died..."

Kyle shoulders droop, before he shakes his head like it can will all the panic away.

"It's fine, I'm sure I have a charger in my locker. You can charge your phone and we can... call the fire department," he says, throwing his hands up, at a loss what to do.

Eric follows Kyle to his locker, and watches him rummage around for his charger.

"No... no!" he cries, slamming the locker shut and spinning around in fury. "No, what the fuck!"

Eric arches an amused eyebrow when Kyle isn't looking.

"Can't find it?"

Kyle looks over his shoulder, glowering and flushed.

"No, I can't find it."

Eric sighs, he should've known Bebe would take Kyle's charger too. It's impressive, and unnerving, and there's not a whole lot they can do about it now. He tucks his hands in his pocket and leans against the row of lockers.

"Then I guess we're here for the long haul."

"How are you not freaking out right now? We're trapped!"

"Yeah, in the boys locker room! It's not the end of the world! We'll only be in here for the night..." Eric thinks back to when he locked Token and Nichole in the elementary school locker room over night, and wonders if Bebe has been just as considerate. "And maybe someone left some food lying around. Come on."

Kyle is still scowling, but he follows Eric with his arms wrapped around him.

"I thought you had anxiety..."

"Yeah, I do but just because this situation isn't making me anxious doesn't mean I don't have anxiety. That's kind of the point. I get anxious about things that other people normally wouldn't worry about." He can't help but sound a little smug. "Seriously, Kyle, educate yourself."

He knows how much Kyle hates the assumption that he is less informed than him. Eric can practically feel the contempt radiating off him.

"I know how anxiety works, asshole, I was just saying that-"

"Look, someone left a picnic basket," Eric cuts him off when he turns a corner and spies a wicker basket.

"What the fuck..." Kyle whispers.

Eric opens the large basket to reveal not only a picnic consisting of pastel-coloured cupcakes, shiny bags of Cheesy Poofs, jerky, dainty, white sandwiches with the crusts cut off, a potato salad, and a quiche, but stacks of old board games, their boxes scuffed at the corners. The basket too, sits atop two sleeping bags, and two, plump pillows. Eric's gotta hand it to Bebe, she done good. It's hard for a smile not to flicker in the corner of his mouth.

"Who the hell left this here?" Kyle asks, rummaging through the basket and pulling out a packet of jerkey with what looks like Hebrew written on it. "And why is everything kosher-friendly... and the sleeping bags..." He drops the kosher jerky into the basket, and scowls at Eric with nostrils flared. "Cartman, you sick fuck!"

"What?!"

"It was you!" Kyle cries. "You acted so fucking innocent, but you're behind this! You have to be!"

"What the fuck, Kyle!" Eric exclaims, voice scratchy. "I promise you I'm not!"

"Really?" Kyle asks, with a cynical chuckle, crossing his arms. "This elaborate, twisted scheme is right in your wheelhouse!"

"Wh... " Eric sighs, because he can't exactly deny that. "Yeah, okay, maybe it is. But I swear I have nothing to do with this, Kyle!"

"Yeah, right! God, what was even your endgame here? You were gonna lock me in here with you so could... could..." Kyle pales at the thought, and Eric can practically see his throat shrink. He can definitely see his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he gulps. "God damn it, what the fuck were you gonna do, Cartman?!"

Eric has done a lot of fucked up shit in his life, it's something he's only really starting to come to terms with, but he hates what Kyle is accusing of. So much so, that he doesn't think about it for a second when he blurts out:

"It wasn't me, it was Bebe, alright?!"

Kyle is panting, and colour returns to his face as he stares at Eric hard.

"What?"

"It was Bebe! She locked us in here! Before my phone died, when you were trying the door, she text me to say she set this whole thing up!"

Kyle frowns, nose wrinkling. He looks Eric up and down.

"Why would she do that?"

Eric rolls his eyes, body sagging.

"I don't know! I don't know, maybe so we could..." he flushes, winces. "Talk through our differences?"

"Differences?" Kyle murmurs. Eric can tell he's bristled by somebody else knowing his business. If he and Kyle still even had 'business.' "How the hell does Bebe know about our differences?"

"Well, you know I hang out with her, right? We talk about them from time to time."

Kyle shakes his head, bewildered, and almost sub-consciously his arms come up and wrap around himself again, as if protecting himself from whatever Bebe has concocted, whatever difficult conversations this could lead to that neither of them truly want to have.

"God, this is so messed up... I can't believe..." he shakes his head, jaw pulling tight. "You know what? I refuse to take part in this. Don't talk to me for the rest of the night."

Without another word, Kyle turns on his heel and marches away.

Eric sighs, glances between Kyle and the picnic basket.

"Kyle, will you just-"

"I said don't talk to me!" Kyle snaps over his shoulder.

He unceremoniously drops to the floor, with his shoulders hunched and his back to Eric.

**Hour 1**

Kyle still hasn't looked at him, talked to him, or even turned around. Eric is filling the silence, the boredom, by snacking on Bebe's admittedly delicious picnic. He's eaten a sandwich, a packet of Cheesy Poofs, and a cupcake. He's tempted to start digging into the quiche when he realises Kyle hasn't eaten anything at all. Kyle already thinks he's an asshole, but he can at least try to show that he knows how not to be.

"Kyle... Kyle! You sure you don't want any of this?"

Kyle turns his head, half of his face concealed by his shoulder.

"Yeah, positive..."

Eric rolls his eyes.

"Dude, when was the last time you ate? You're skinny enough as it is-"

"Cartman, I'm not fucking hungry-"

Kyle is interrupted by his loud, growling stomach. The noise seems to bounce from locker to locker, aided by the airy acoustics.

Eric chuckles, purses his lips to smother the sound.

"Kinda sounds like you are. Look, you can still protest this whole thing without going on a hunger strike. It can just be a silent protest."

He watches Kyle's shoulders rise and fall, can hear the faint sigh.

"Fine..."

Kyle gets up, marches over to the picnic basket with an unwavering frown, and plops himself down on the floor. He reaches for a smoked salmon and cream cheese sandwich. He takes a small bite at first, chewing slowly until he decides it's tasty enough to chew with more enthusiasm. He smiles, nodding approvingly at Eric.

"This is actually pretty good..."

"Yeah, it is." Eric smiles. "I'm impressed..." he wonders if it's appropriate now to make a joke. "All I left Token and Nichole was a deli platter."

Kyle's smile crumples, and he chuckles around the food in his mouth.

"So how does it feel?" he asks once he swallows. "The shoe being on the other foot?"

"It's not great," Eric admits, even though he didn't think Token and Nichole's evening in the gym was this frosty. "But I guess we gotta make the most of it."

Kyle's eyebrows raise warily.

"Do I even wanna know what you have in mind?"

Eric glances at the untouched board games in the basket.

"We could play a game..."

**Hour 3**

Their game of Connect 4 is drawing to a close and while Kyle's victory is obvious, Eric is resisting the urge to forfeit the game with some scrap of pride, or flip the game over and watch the pieces fly everywhere. Dr Clarke has been encouraging him to seek out the positives in a situation that is not going his way. She thinks it will help him get a handle on his rage, and subdue the temptation to act in a way that is destructive to himself and others in pursuit of a goal. Right now, that positive is watching Kyle's tongue poking at his lip, imminent triumph lighting up his face. He drops his counter and forms the perfect, winning line.

"Yes!" he grins with an adorable fist pump. To Eric, it's like watching fireworks tearing through the night sky. "Two for two!"

Eric chuckles, but he still has a competitive itch that needs to be scratched. He has to win at least one game.

"How the fuck do you keep winning? There must be a board game you suck at!"

Kyle shakes his head, beaming.

"Nope, I just have a cognitive advantage that's necessary for kicking your ass at every board game in this room."

Eric smirks.

"Jesus Christ, and you think I'm arrogant..."

Kyle shrugs, his face is simmering and he starts to pack the board game away.

"I would say your arrogance has mellowed out over the years."

Eric smiles broadly when Kyle isn't looking, so focused on packing the game away.

"Doesn't matter when I'm beating you at the most important game."

Kyle blinks, distracted. He looks at him.

"What?"

"You're enjoying this," Eric replies with a challenging grin.

Kyle blinks again, like he's struggling to follow. But when it hits him he shakes his head, trying to counter Eric's grin with a nonchalant smirk.

"No, I'm enjoying kicking your ass. Believe me, I do not enjoy this situation."

Eric doesn't need to press the issue to know he's right.

"Come on, let's play something else," he says, dragging the basket closer to him. "Connect 4 is dumb anyway."

"You said that about Operation too."

"That's because it is. It's the dumbest game ever invented."

Eric is rooting through the basket, trying to find a game where he possesses a distinct advantage over Kyle, but it's hard. Only Kyle could turn his intelligence into a problem for him.

He hears Kyle shift beside him, moving from a cross-legged position. He sits up on his knees.

"Hey, um, I've got an idea..."

"What's that?" Eric replies, still preoccupied.

When Kyle doesn't answer right away, Eric wonders if he heard.

"We could play therapy?"

Eric frowns, turns to Kyle.

"Therapy? What's that?"

Kyle rolls his eyes, fidgets like Eric's answer is a discomfiting one. He flicks imaginary dust from his thigh.

"You know, we could talk about..." he looks around the locker room. The room is starkly lit, even more so when the minimal daylight is fading. "This! How the hell we ended up here! If Bebe locked us in here so we can talk through our differences then...

"Dude, Kyle, she's not gonna let us out just because we had a heart-to-heart. She's not hiding in the vents spying on us. Not even I did that."

"No, but if we clear the air then maybe this won't happen again? I don't wanna be sitting here in six months time kicking your ass at Battleships or whatever."

Eric gulps, nodding and gearing himself up for the fact they're finally Getting Into It. He supposes it was inevitable, and Kyle, once again, is right that this is what Bebe intended all along. He just has to try to stay cool and watch what he says. He smacks his hands on his thighs.

"Fine, let's play Couples Therapy."

"No, Therapy," Kyle corrects, deadly serious. "We are not a couple."

Eric rolls his eyes at the technicality.

"Well, we're not therapists either."

Kyle huffs.

"Whatever, just lie down."

"Why am I the patient?"

"God, Cartman, just give me twenty minutes and you can interrogate me all you want! Just lie down!"

Eric smothers his laughter.

"Why do I have to lie down though?"

Kyle rolls his eyes and tuts like it's obvious.

"Because it's more immersive. It sets the scene, it's clear-"

"Dude, we're just passing the time here, it's not an improv class."

"Just do it!"

Eric lies down on the cold, hard tiles, squinting up at the glowing, halogen lights. He clasps his hands at his chest.

"You do know that people don't actually lie down when they talk to a therapist."

"Oh yeah, and how do you know that?" Kyle asks, returning to that cross-legged position.

"Because I actually go to one," Eric admits. It's the first time he's talked about it and, considering the circumstance, it came out easier than he thought.

"Oh..." Kyle whispers, and his shoulders droop."Ooh, I didn't realise that..."

It's then Eric feels uncomfortable, fidgeting on the tiles.

"Yeah, well, I don't advertise it," he mutters to the lockers.

"Ready?"

"Yep." He turns his head to Kyle and grins. "Psychoanalyse the shit out of me, Dr Broflovski."

Kyle doesn't find it funny, offering him only a wary frown.

"I'm not gonna do that, but okay... um... " he purses his lips, shifts a little. "You say you and Bebe talk a lot about me..." he squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head. "Uh-us..."

"Yeah?"

"Well, what do you tell her?"

Eric blinks, and it hurts to swallow the lump in his throat. Where does he start?

_How much I think about you? How I stare at you in class, in the hall, in the cafeteria and wish I could talk to you again? How terrified I am that I fucked this up beyond repair, so you won't even be my friend, let alone-_

"I tell her... how annoying I think you are. I tell her how self-righteous, and arrogant, and aloof you are-"

"Aloof?" Kyle's voice grows harder. "How the hell am I aloof?"

Eric looks at him with a puzzled dent in his brow.

"That's the word you're focusing on right now?"

"Yes! The other three didn't come as news to me, but I never knew you thought I was aloof-"

"Well, you are!" Eric snaps, breaking the first promise he made to himself before the game started. "It's like you still think you know so much about me even when you don't even try to talk to me anymore! You know, it's like learning another language! If you don't practice it, and keep speaking it, then you're eventually gonna forget everything! So you may think you're fucking fluent in me, and maybe you were once, but you let basketball, and debate, and student council, and just generally being perfect take over, and you just stopped trying!"

Eric feels a little embarrassed by his earnest confession, but he has never seen Kyle look so incredulous, and he's never seen him roll his eyes so dramatically before. He throws his whole body into it.

"Oh Jesus fucking Christ, how awful! How could I let my Cartman fluency fall by the wayside? Do you have any idea how fucking co-dependent and narcissistic you sound right now? I'm not gonna apologise for having a life outside of you, and Stan, and Kenny, especially you!"

Eric shakes his head, with a dry, sardonic chuckle.

"Jeez, Kyle, what a wonderful therapist you are! You know, my therapist never yelled at me once! Not even when I told her about the Scott Tenorman stuff!"

"Well, yeah, because she gets paid not to yell at you!" Kyle yells, face red already, and there's a little vein bulging in his forehead. "And if she knew you outside of your therapy sessions she would realise just how fucking hard that is!"

Eric can't help but smile. He knew Kyle wouldn't be able to listen without jumping in and arguing.

"Do you wanna switch?"

"Yes, I do!"

They swap places. Kyle lies down on the floor, as stiff as a mummy. He's seething, but Eric notices his breaths start to mellow, slow, but still ragged. He clutches himself tightly, scowling and glaring at the lights above. He looks hurt, wounded, and before Eric can question it, Kyle speaks.

"Don't you dare accuse me of not trying," he says, voice thick. "I _tried_ , Cartman. I've been trying since the moment I met you. "

It steals the words right out of Eric's mouth, wipes away any rational thought.

"What..." he clears his throat. "What do you mean? What are you talking about?"

Kyle shakes his head, face creasing.

"For years I've been trying to... understand you, and reconcile the fact that I actually like being around you with the person you are..." he sighs. "Were..." he shakes his head and his face crumples even more. "I don't even know anymore... and you're right." He looks at Eric and his eyes are gleaming. "We have been drifting apart, and it hurts me but... you didn't exactly make it easy to be around you, Cartman. I know things change when you get to high school, and your friends change, but I still wanted to be around you. It felt like you didn't want that though... you kept pushing me away, and ignoring me, and it was humiliating, and... devastating! It was like, all of my fucking life disappearing out from under me and..." he sighs, closes his eyes, shattered. He opens them, and his gaze is imploring and shiny. He sits up. "I should've asked you what I'd done wrong. I shouldn't have let you drift away, but I was exhausted. I thought it was for the best, but it wasn't. So I'm asking you now. If I've done something wrong, please tell me. I miss you. I don't care if you hate me, but... you can at least hate me, and still be my friend!"

Eric shakes his head, still processing everything. This is too fast, too much, everything he never wanted to be true, and yet everything he ever wanted to hear all at once.

"I don't... I don't hate you!" he cries, because he's tired of pretending that he does. "It's just hard to be around you, Kyle!"

"Why?!" Kyle sits up on his knees, and he looks wild. "Why now?! It was hard being around each other before, but we still fucking hung out! So what's changed?"

Eric grits his teeth and shakes his head. His eyes are burning.

"Nothing! Nothing has changed, that's the point!"

Kyle rolls his eyes to the ceiling, and he moves to grip his hair but thinks better of it.

"That doesn't make any sense! Something has to have changed! Why can't you be around me? Tell me, Cartman!"

The answer was simple. Three little words. But they're the words that have haunted him for years, that drove him to make stupid, cowardly decisions. They're the most devastating, difficult words of all. Eric's not brave enough. He sighs, hangs his head.

"Kyle, I can't-"

He barely has any time to react when Kyle grabs his face and smashes their lips together. Well, _faces_ together. Eric really feels like Kyle is trying to squash his whole face, meld their features together. It's hard to breathe, or think, and his lips are numb, and the world is disappearing around him until he's shoved onto the tiles. He hits his head hard and wants to curse, or complain, or call Kyle a stupid asshole for doing that, but Kyle is back on him before he can do any of those things, lips clasped together. Kyle's thighs are either side of his hips, crotch pressed against his belly, and every small brush of fabric is turning him on, dick twitching in his increasingly tight underwear. Kyle seems like he's in a trance, cupping Eric's flushed cheeks and trying to cast him under the same spell with his earnest tongue, and eager lips.

Eric growls, low and weak in the back of his throat and pushes Kyle off him, rolling on top of him. Kyle is panting, his cheeks streaked red and his pupils yawning. Eric doesn't think he's ever wanted him more, and when he realises he can have him he wastes no time smashing their lips together. Kyle whines, frustrated and needy, and arches into his kiss, tugging and stretching his shirt to pull him closer, kiss him deeper.

Eric has no idea why they're doing this, how they ended up here, if this is the best way to sort through their differences, but he's trying not to care. He's trying to enjoy Kyle underneath him, their lips pressed together, and their hands on each other as long as he can before it goes back to whatever normal is left. Besides, he supposes that above all Bebe just wanted them to kiss, so he's glad he can do her proud.

He can tell by his fingers raking down his arms, that Kyle wants to be on top of him again, so he rolls over and grips Kyle's shirt, encouraging him to clamber up his body and connect their lips again. They share indulgent, staccato kisses, chests rising and falling in exhausted, exhilarated breaths. Their kisses slow, come to a stop, and too soon Kyle's dark, hazy eyes flood with panic. He leaps off Eric, scrambling backwards and landing with a loud thud on his ass. His flushed cheeks drain of colour, and the whites of his eyes are just as bright as the harsh bulbs above.

Kyle is shaking and so is Eric, both of them terrified. He feels like his biggest fear is coming true, ruining this beyond repair.

"Kyle..." he croaks.

Kyle isn't looking at him. He's raised a hand to his mouth and brushes his fingers against his lips like he wants to wipe their kiss(es) away. When his eyes finally meet Eric's he looks alarmed, and distraught. He moves his hand away from his mouth, revealing his frown. He gets up silently, walking over to the sleeping bags and pillows and collecting one of each. He also grabs one or two snacks from the basket.

Eric watches, helpless, as he marches over to the other side of the room.

"Kyle!" he shouts. "Come on!"

Kyle turns his back on him, dropping to the floor.

"God damn it..." Eric mutters, furious at everything.

**Hour 5**

Back to square one.

Kyle hasn't moved, turned around, or spoken to Eric, but this time, Eric isn't going to attempt conversation. What's the point? Kyle doesn't want to talk to him, and Eric's not sure he wants to talk to him either. He's passed the time by snacking. He's currently chewing on some of Kyle's kosher jerkey, which isn't half bad. He's exhausted by the events of the evening, and he's unsure what the time is. His eyes keep drooping, losing his grasp on consciousness, and he doesn't even know why he's fighting it. He jolts at the sound of Kyle's voice.

"Are you tired?"

It's as if he can sense it.

"A little..."

"Mind if I turn the lights off?"

"No..."

Kyle gets up, walking over to the door. Eric gets comfortable in his sleeping bag so he doesn't have to fumble in the dark. When Kyle turns the lights off, they're draped in pitch blackness. Eric can hear Kyle stumble over to his sleeping bag, careful but clumsy.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Kyle only replies when he makes it over to his sleeping bag. Eric only knows this because he can hear the rustling of it. "Good night."

Eric sighs, nestles into his pillow.

"Good night"

**Hour 6**

Despite his earlier exhaustion, Eric can't sleep. Thoughts of Kyle's confession, kiss, and rejection are playing on a loop in his head. He's dreading the morning, but he's dreading what's going to happen every day after it. Nothing, he supposes, worse than nothing.

He blinks, and jolts at the sound of shuffling, fumbling footsteps.

"Shit!"

"Kyle?" Eric asks, and is surprised at how sleepy his voice sounds. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I just... I just hit my shin on the bench."

Eric smirks, smothers a chuckle. His breath catches in his throat when he feels Kyle lie down next to him, can feel his warmth in the dark, and smell his hair.

"Are you cold?"

Eric smiles at how reminiscent that question is of his earlier one.

"A little."

"Me too... Cartman?"

"Yeah?"

"When you went to therapy... you didn't go because of me, did you?"

Eric's face burns, his stomach clenches at an uncomfortable truth. He's kind of glad they can't see each other's faces.

"No," he answers honestly. "You were kinda wrapped up in the reason I went, but not the whole reason."

Kyle sighs, shattered like before.

"I'm really sorry."

"I'm sorry too."

Eric can hear him shift in his sleeping bag. He feels like Kyle's eyes are on him.

"I'm proud of you, though, for doing that. And I know I was hard on you earlier, but it seems to be making a difference."

Eric smiles, sometimes it feels like it's not, sometimes it feels too frustrating and pointless, but he's happy that Kyle has noticed a difference.

"We need to be hard on each other. We're the only ones who can be." He smiles. "I think that's, like, one of the more awesome things about us."

Kyle chuckles, faint.

"Yeah..."

Eric takes a bracing breath and figures that, in the dark, with no one else around, now would be the perfect time to tell Kyle how he feels. Those three frightening words.

"I love you, Kyle." His heart is pounding, and his throat clenches immediately. He hopes he can speak, he hopes his voice won't wobble. "You don't have to say it back, but I think you deserve to hear it."

Eric expects the silence. He doesn't expect for Kyle to shuffle closer to him, to rest his head on his shoulder. He doesn't except Kyle's hair to brush against his cheek.

"I missed you," he whispers, and it's more than enough.

Eric takes a long, slow breath. He tilts his head, rests his cheek in Kyle's hair.

"Yeah, I missed you too."

* * *

Eric wakes up the next morning with his arm draped around Kyle, and his face buried in his neck. Years of sleeping with Clyde Frog in his arms, with his green, felt head tucked under his chin have made him prone to cuddling in his sleep. He blinks his bleary eyes open, tears himself away from Kyle's warmth, and the pleasant scent of his skin. There's a string of spit connecting his mouth to Kyle's neck, and he flushes as he wipes the saliva away. He really wants to wipe the wetness away from Kyle's neck before he wakes up, but he knows that will disturb him. Instead, he just looks at him. Their pillows and sleeping bags are askew. Eric feels groggy and like he hasn't had much sleep at all. Kyle's chest rises and falls slowly beneath Eric's arm, and he can't believe he's close enough to him that he can chart his breathing, hear his breaths pass his lips, and study his sleeping face. He smiles before he can stop it, feeling something close to triumph glow in his chest.

He watches Kyle wake up. He watches his eyelids flutter, his face twitch. He has a sleepy, disorientated scowl on his face like he's forgotten where he is.

"Hey..." Eric says, and he doesn't think his voice has ever sounded softer.

"Hey," Kyle replies, raspy. He shifts a little, trying to get comfortable then he remembers that's impossible. He smiles in defeat. "Good morning."

A grin spreads across Eric's face helplessly.

"Good morning..." it disappears when he realises his arm is still wrapped around Kyle's middle. He pulls his arm away. "Shit! Sorry-"

"It's okay." Kyle just smirks, sitting up, and his wayward bed hair is ridiculous enough to have Eric grinning again. He can't help but chuckle, and Kyle rolls his eyes and tries to finger comb it. He turns sombre then, looking down before meeting Eric's eyes again. "Cartman, I-"

They're interrupted by a heavy pounding at the door.

"Boys?" an unfamiliar, but authoritative male voice asks. "Boys, are you in there?"

They look at each other with wide eyes, like they're shocked this strange situation is coming to an abrupt end, or even ending at all.

"Yes!" Kyle shouts, like he's afraid that whoever is on the other side of the door will disappear. "Yes, we're in here!

"Okay, my name is officer Brooks. I'm with the fire department. There's a chain wrapped around the door, so we're gonna cut it off and we'll get you right out! Just sit tight!"

Eric's shoulders droop. Of course. That's exactly how he locked Token and Nichole in.

"Fucking Bebe..." he mutters, irritated and impressed. She learned well.

Kyle purses his lips and chuckles.

"Thank you!" he calls to Officer Brooks, remembering his manners. Eric is sure Sheila would be proud.

Later, they're sat on a bench outside of the school, waiting to be picked up. Eric didn't exactly feel traumatised by the whole experience, but maybe firefighters are trained to detect stress and trauma bubbling beneath the surface... or maybe it's just protocol to rescue people and then give them blankets and hot beverages. If Eric were asked what the most comforting beverage is, he would've guessed cocoa but apparently it's coffee. Or at least, that's what the fire department have to hand and that's what he and Kyle are holding half-empty paper cups of as they wait. It did do a good job of waking him up, and keeping him warm.

They haven't talked much since being let out of the locker room. Eric is still waiting for Kyle to finish his sentence, and he's unsure whether Kyle has forgotten what he said, or has decided it's better left unspoken. The latter is probably true. Kyle never forgets anything, and that's what made him such a worthy opponent. It's disappointing though, and Eric is desperate for conversation but he doesn't really know how to address what happened last night. In the cold light of day, it's hard to be as earnest as he was, but making light of it just feels like deflecting, like a step back. After having seen a glimpse of what they could be last night, Eric doesn't want to return to the life he was living 24 hours before.

"Well..." Kyle sighs, looks into his coffee and brushes his thumb against the cardboard rim. "That was an interesting night."

Eric blinks, and chuckles faintly in disbelief at how that's all Kyle can say, that's the best way he can surmise it. Kyle, the most eloquent person Eric has never met. 'Interesting' is all Kyle 'you-know-I-learned-something-today' Broflovski can say about this situation. Though really, Eric thinks, is he wrong?

"Yeah, it was..."

Kyle's nose wrinkles, which in turns makes his smile wrinkle, and Eric is realising how much he loves watching the mechanics of Kyle's facial expressions up close.

"In a way, it was kinda fun?" Kyle says, vocalising his thought process. Eric realises he loves this too, hearing Kyle's sleep-deprived, unfiltered, shy thoughts in real time. He grins and says rather decisively: "I liked hanging out with you again."

Eric returns the infectious grin.

"Me too. I don't know why I stopped-"

Kyle interrupts him with a knowing, exasperated sigh.

"Come on, you do, and now so do I," he replies, exasperated still but fonder too. "I get it. It must have been really hard."

Hearing Kyle acknowledge that stings more than Eric thought it would. It's like acupuncture, a little needle hitting a nerve, and it may be uncomfortable but it's beneficial too. It reminds him of something else Dr Clarke told him, that sometimes the people we love hurt us. But that doesn't mean we should give up on them. To think, he had almost given up on Kyle despite never loving anyone or anything more. He nods, riding out that stinging, prickling feeling.

"But let's not do that anymore, okay?" Kyle asks, with a tiny nudge of his elbow. "How about we go see a movie tonight, just the two of us?"

Eric feels like he needs Kyle to pinch him rather than nudge him. He blinks a couple of times, to make sure he's not dreaming.

"I would really like that, Kyle," he replies carefully, like the wrong inflection could shatter this.

He hears soft squealing, unsure if he's imagined it. He turns his head, and sees blond, frizzy hair peeking out from behind a bush. As he contemplates acknowledging Bebe's presence, Kyle presses his lips to his cheek. It sends a delightful shiver throughout his body, lightning from his scalp to his toes. He's frozen, hands sweaty around the coffee cup, and Kyle's face is still touching his. His eyelashes tickle his skin, his nose and warm breath is brushing against his cheek. Eric has no idea what to do, except turn slowly. Kyle doesn't move, and Eric rotates into his touch, like he's a heliotropic houseplant and Kyle is the sun shining brightly through the windows. Foreheads, lashes, noses press together, sharing hot, bated breath. Their eyes are lidded, dark, and blurry, roaming their faces. Eric doesn't know if it's been seconds or minutes, the world is out of focus. Kyle's eyes slip shut, and he tilts his head just so for his lips to slide across Eric's. He slips his eyes shut too, his whole body sighing. This is probably the most intimate kiss he has ever had, the most intimate thing he has ever done, period. He wants to be kissed like this always.

He can hear Bebe squealing again, and she's probably doing a little happy dance in the bushes.

Kyle gives Eric a giddy smile, but when his eyes are that dark it just makes him look wicked. It turns Eric on tremendously.

"Bebe was really onto something, huh?" he grins.

"Please, _I_ was onto something," Eric replies, but he's so happy right now that his bragging lacks the necessary bite. "I invented this trick. It works every time."

Kyle chuckles, rolls his eyes, and kisses Eric again. It's harder this time, unabashed, and confident, and enthusiastic. The corners of Eric's mouth can't help but turn upwards. They're really getting good at this. Bebe squeals again, loud, shrill, just as unabashed.

Kyle pulls back, frowning.

"Did you hear that?

Eric rolls his eyes, smiling.

"Yeah, it's Bebe."

"Huh?"

Eric looks over his shoulder.

"You can come out now!"

Bebe pops out from behind the bushes, not at all embarrassed, not even when she has to pull a few, stray twigs out of her hair.

"Okay, for the record, you two are fucking adorable."

"Um, thanks?" Kyle says, giving Eric a puzzled look as they both stand up.

Bebe is biting her lip as she smiles and stares, admiring them, until she seems to remember something.

"Oh, and Kyle, I think these belong to you," she says, rooting around in the back pockets of her jeans. She pulls out Kyle's phone and his charger, and throws them to him. He looks bewildered but still manages to catch them.

"You had these?"

Bebe nods, beaming with hands on her hips.

"Uh-huh."

Kyle doesn't share Eric's admiration of her cunning, instead he seems more concerned, which is valid.

"How did you even get into the boys' locker room?"

"I have my ways." Bebe shrugs. "Besides, I wasn't the only person who was dying to make this happen."

"What?" Eric asks, brow furrowed. "Who's that?"

"Kenny."

Kyle arches an eyebrow, looks between Eric and Bebe.

"Kenny?"

Of course, that makes sense. Though Eric is still surprised Kenny remembers that he likes Kyle, it's been a long time since he listened to him rant and despair over his feelings.

"No surprise." Eric nods. "He's known longer than you have."

Kyle blinks, shaking his head as he tries to process this new information.

"I have so many questions."

"Okay, shoot," Bebe replies casually. She's not precious about anything, that's one of the things Eric likes about her.

Kyle is taken aback by Bebe's lack of resistance, and has to actually think of those questions he apparently has so many of.

"First of all, how did I not notice Kenny was in the locker room?"

Bebe lowers her chin and arches an incredulous eyebrow at him.

"Maybe because you were taking forever in the shower?" She looks at Eric. "Did you know he spends an unreasonable amount of time in the shower?"

Eric didn't. It's not as if he hasn't thought about Kyle in the shower (or thought about him while he's in the shower, for that matter), but how long he would spend in there has never crossed his mind. It doesn't come as a surprise though. He grins, and winks at Bebe.

"We'll work on it."

She laughs behind her hand, while Kyle scowls.

"I'm not gonna apologise for good hygiene!"

"It's pathological, at this point," Bebe remarks with some confidence. Eric has to purse his lips to smother his laughter.

"No, it's-" Kyle closes his eyes and shakes his head, ploughing on with his questions. "Okay, secondly..." he looks at Eric with more vulnerability than he can ever remember seeing on his face. "How long have you been in love with me?"

Eric looks between Kyle and Bebe, both curious for his answer. He sighs, looks down at his shoes, before looking up at Kyle's still very vulnerable face.

"Honestly, I've... uh, kinda lost track?" he shrugs, and it feels like his whole body wants to curl into a ball. "I can't remember a time when I wasn't in love with you."

Kyle's mouth opens and closes, searching for words.

"Aww!" Bebe says, breaking the tension. Her hands are placed on her heart.

Kyle smiles at her. He lowers his head as he turns to Eric though, suddenly shy.

"Woah..." he whispers. "That's um..."

"Sweet?" Eric grins. There's still some tension in need of breaking. "Romantic?"

Kyle looks at him with a scrunched up smile.

"Yeah, I guess it's, uh..." he nods, accepting he can't find the words. "All of the above..."

Because he doesn't want to knowingly kiss in front of Bebe, Kyle brushes his fingers against his arm instead. But the tension - and the moment - is truly over when they hear Kyle's mom bounding towards them.

"Kyle!" she cries. "Kyle, bubbe! Thank god you're okay!"

Kyle turns to his mom and nods.

"Yeah, I'm fine - _oof!_ "

He's cut off when he's pulled into a back-breaking hug.

Mrs Broflovski gasps when she pulls back, cupping Kyle's face.

"Look at you! Oh, you look so pale! And your face! It's so gaunt!" She looks into Kyle's eyes and thumbs at his cheek. "Did you eat?"

Eric and Bebe share amused looks, both trying to stifle their laughter. Kyle sighs.

"Ma, really, I'm fine-"

She shakes her head.

"That's the adrenaline talking, bubbe. We need to get you home, and get you fed and rested!" She lets go of Kyle's face to grab his wrist, and it's only then she notices Eric and Bebe. "Oh... hello, Eric. Are you alright? Do you need a ride home?"

Eric shakes his head, hoping that when he talks he can control the laughter in his voice.

"No, no, I got it covered."

Mrs Broflovski nods, probably slightly relieved, Eric notes.

"Alright, well, I'm glad you're both safe but we'd better go, Kyle," she says, giving his wrist a tug.

"Sure, mom..." he says, but he's already being led away. He looks over his shoulder at Eric. "I'll text you when I get home... about tonight..."

Eric nods, a bit deflated that they're parting so abruptly, but counting down the hours until tonight. He wants to seem cool though.

"Yeah, sure." He smiles.

Kyle nods, and gives him and Bebe an apologetic wave.

"Bye, guys."

"Bye, Kyle!" Bebe waves in return.

They watch Kyle get in the car and drive away. When they're out of sight, Eric and Bebe look at each other with beaming smiles. They erupt into fits of ecstatic giggles, falling into each other's tight embrace. Bebe shrieks when Eric picks her up and spins her around.

"I fucking love you so much, Bebe Stevens!"

Bebe is doubled over laughing when Eric puts her down. She composes herself, fixing her hair and her shirt that has risen.

"And the kiss?" she asks, eyes bright. "Was that the first..."

Eric shakes his head. His cheeks are hurting he's smiling so hard.

"Nope." He's pleased to report. "We kissed last night too."

Bebe claps her hands together in prayer and covers her mouth. She even stumbles back a little. She shakes with excitement, squeals escaping the gaps between her fingers.

"Details!" she finally cries. "I need details! Tell me everything!" She steps forward. "Is he a good kisser?"

Eric can't really say for certain, because he hasn't had a whole lot of kissing experience, but when Kyle kisses him it feels like floating on a giant cheesy poof down a river of KFC gravy... so yeah, it's pretty good.

"I think so? It's hard to tell." Eric grins. "But he's awesome at kissing me, and that's what counts."

Bebe places her fists under her chin, wrists pressed tightly together, and bounces on the balls of her feet. She looks like she's about to burst out into song, and she actually does.

" _Eric and Kyle, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-O-MG!"_

She can't get through the last two letters without laughing. Eric shoves her, and it still doesn't stop her cackling. He doesn't care, he's laughing too.

"Thanks, though..." he says, trying to be serious when the beat has passed.

He's not great at gratitude, but this is the nicest, most incredible thing anyone has ever done for him, so he has to say it.

Bebe smiles, tucks some hair behind her ear. She gives Eric a gentle nudge.

"What are girlfriends for?"


End file.
